Hello strange place a la internet, how you been doing? Long time no chat, huh?! Okay yep a torrent
of verbal abuse was totally appropriate for my ‘Missing In Action’ like status
for the last few months! Woah put the
shoval DOWN Mister!
Today I’m going to write about some top tips for any future university
goers. Being just about to finish my
first year of law, I feel perfectly qualified in relaying the terror, hunger
and stress you about to experience, and giving out some tips to combat them. Fight back, as my old nan would say as she
hurls a snail over the hedge.
So today’s topic is going to be on budgeting and how I’m
superb at it and I want to throttle those people who are not. Ranting.
I reckon I might end up ranting.
To set the scene, imagine a magical princess, locked away in
a castle that’s costing her £125 a week.
Yeah. Magical right. Alas, her fairy godmother (aka student
finance) is feeling pretty stingy, probably went on a spending spree bender
with our beloved heroin pennies, leaving her with SIGNIFICANTLY LESS than said
enchanted tower rent. That enchanted
tower? Decrease the image in your head
to an 8 foot box. Factor it into the
picture.
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| A scaled size of my actual residence. Mmmhhmmm cosy... |
So, as you can imagine money’s pretty tight around
here. I am not afraid to say I will be
that cool kid who bends down to pick up a 20 pence piece from the pavement. Since my Aldie noodles cost 18p this is a
bonified victory over the other starving students, scavenging the streets of
England. I’m not trying to show off or
anything of the sorts but I HAVE and DO cook for 2 people on a meagre budget of
80 pence. I can confirm that I physically
cannot buy anything in Aldi or Iceland for over a quid and am horrified when items
finally leave the special offer price bracket.
Perhaps then you can understand why when a dear sweet
flatmate of mine participated in our weekly pity party – a time of splendour where
our flat gathers round to discuss money saving tips – and revealed her weakly ‘pocket
money’. Interrupting the marvellous idea
of liberating toilet roll from the student unions, she flat out states that mummy
and daddy are sending her £75 a week! I
honestly nearly dropped my noodles.
Seventy five freaking Great British Pounds and she has the nerve to
suggest it was not enough to live on.
I spend less than £40 a month on food, take you riches
elsewhere please madam. I mean, what is
she even doing with it? Using it as
wallpaper? Thus I have created some
budgeting tips to help my poor dear hard done to flatmate to really stretch
that three-quarters-of-a-hundred-quid as far out as it will go, since she seems
to be struggling. Do I sound bitter? I might be bitter.
1) It is not okay to spend £40 at the Disney store and then
return to moan about your impulsive nature.
Not ever.
2) Waitrose food tastes the same as Aldi food. If you think it doesn’t (which it don’t), you
can cry into your wads of saved cash.
3) Eating in is the same as eating out. Only cheaper.
And with more noodles.
4) Your wardrobe is literally less than a foot in
diameter. Where are you storing all
those extra dresses you keep coming home with?!
5) Doubles are cheaper than singles. Flirting is cheaper than buying your
own. Water is the cheapest of them all.
6) Portion sizes. If you
are not still hungry after a meal, you have eaten too much. The extra could have been tomorrow’s lunch!
7) Eating rice and an egg two days in a row is perfectly acceptable. Also a third and a… sixth?
9) Asking flatmates if they intend to finish that last
morsel of bacon is actually helping the environment and totally okay. Taking it while they aren’t looking is less
acceptable but I’d still encourage it.
10) Having a friend/parent/unicorn over and asking them to
provide their own grub may seem rude at first but you’ll never serve them up a
dish they aren’t going to like. (If you
do though, feel free to tuck in…)
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| I recommend chicken and curry flavour. *Do not expect any actual chicken in either! |
Also noodles. I
promise I’m not on commission but for real.
18p. Flavoured. Aldi. Fly
my minions, FLY.
Anyway, peace out lovelies.
I’m off to devour a cheeky bowl of pasta. Yum.
Gina xxx
